im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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