How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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