I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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