I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
