dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize