You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
