so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
