her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
