i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
