Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
