So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
