If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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