I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
