Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Someone signed my nipple.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
