There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I could fuck to npr.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
