He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My bed smells like the plague
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
