I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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