I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I said "one day" and that day is not today
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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