I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
