There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
