the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize