the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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