so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
