I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
