Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
