Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
