Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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