Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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