is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
