Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
