I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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