I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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