My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
