I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
