I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
