Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
