Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i've created a new STD.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
