I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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