I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
