just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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