North Korea, Best Korea!
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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