Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
if only i could text you this smell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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