Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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