I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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