her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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