If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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