I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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