he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
