theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
