We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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