Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
