put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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