jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
