Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize