btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
