This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
