During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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