You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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