Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend