Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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