did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
