All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
