I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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