She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
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So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
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Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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